dear world....

Mare & KK. San Francisco. Thoughts. Music. Love. Oh, and raccoons. mare(dot)and(dot)kk@gmail(dot)com
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generic1: The San Francisco Guide to the Richter magnitude scale is as follows:1.0 = No such thing. It’s like the number zero. It lives only in theory. Scientists say it exists, but whatever.2.0 = Please. Don’t waste our motherfucking time.3.0 = A cough. A burp. A hiccup. Same difference. Except without the noise.4.0 = Was that a …? No. Yes. Undetectable to travelers in cars, buses, subways. The chandelier shakes, but does not swing.5.0 = The chandelier swings. People act like shit happened, but nothing really happened. FOX News runs multiple clips of disorderly supermarket aisles. Maybe a cleanup on aisle 5. Was that a car alarm?6.0 = Shit happened. Ruptured water mains. Minor looting in the Tenderloin. Tenants of skyscrapers soil themselves. Why, O why did the city fathers build directly on top of a fault line? Surely the Ohlone knew this land was cursed. Foolish white man! But the views! O, the views!7.0 = 1998 redux. How’s that Bay Bridge repair going? Not so speedy? Too bad. FEMA can’t help you now, bitch. The barter value of bottled water, candles and board games increases by a factor of five. Persons with smart phones have the power of feudal lords.8.0 = Behold, the Wrath of God. Old Testament comparisons to Sodom become painfully apt. Witness undulating waves of earth. Aftershocks for days. The Marina and the Embarcadero have liquefied. What was once “Nob Hill” is now just “Nob”. Life resembles the worst kind of apocalyptic anime. Earth, Wind & Fire are no longer a 70’s band. Half your Facebook contacts are dead.9.0 = What San Francisco?

generic1:

The San Francisco Guide to the Richter magnitude scale is as follows:

1.0 = No such thing. It’s like the number zero. It lives only in theory. Scientists say it exists, but whatever.

2.0 = Please. Don’t waste our motherfucking time.

3.0 = A cough. A burp. A hiccup. Same difference. Except without the noise.

4.0 = Was that a …? No. Yes. Undetectable to travelers in cars, buses, subways. The chandelier shakes, but does not swing.

5.0 = The chandelier swings. People act like shit happened, but nothing really happened. FOX News runs multiple clips of disorderly supermarket aisles. Maybe a cleanup on aisle 5. Was that a car alarm?

6.0 = Shit happened. Ruptured water mains. Minor looting in the Tenderloin. Tenants of skyscrapers soil themselves. Why, O why did the city fathers build directly on top of a fault line? Surely the Ohlone knew this land was cursed. Foolish white man! But the views! O, the views!

7.0 = 1998 redux. How’s that Bay Bridge repair going? Not so speedy? Too bad. FEMA can’t help you now, bitch. The barter value of bottled water, candles and board games increases by a factor of five. Persons with smart phones have the power of feudal lords.

8.0 = Behold, the Wrath of God. Old Testament comparisons to Sodom become painfully apt. Witness undulating waves of earth. Aftershocks for days. The Marina and the Embarcadero have liquefied. What was once “Nob Hill” is now just “Nob”. Life resembles the worst kind of apocalyptic anime. Earth, Wind & Fire are no longer a 70’s band. Half your Facebook contacts are dead.

9.0 = What San Francisco?

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Smile Friday: It’s-the-Weekend-Again Edition

Smile Friday: It’s-the-Weekend-Again Edition

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[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
90 Plays

Jessie’s Girl cover by OK Go

Originally by Rick Springfield

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Seriously, guys.

Watch this.

I start bawling at about 3:14.

I know, I know.

Stop posting about Christian the Lion.

I can’t help it.

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Dear CA Bar Test Takers:

good luck.

There is one of you who I hope gets especially good news…

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generic1: “Walk enough and you feel San Francisco physically alive in you; its topography tightens through your hamstrings, quads, and Achilles. It guarantees astonishment, too. You live here for years and are still caught unawares by a body of water between buildings, stood on end like stage scenery, or by a tilted sidewalk that rises skyward until it becomes all the horizon there is. Steve McQueen went for a midnight motorcycle ride while in town to film Bullitt and next day told the director that when he crested hills his bike wheels left the ground. He could fly. So they discussed shooting a car chase.” San Francisco, by W.S. Di Piero

generic1:

“Walk enough and you feel San Francisco physically alive in you; its topography tightens through your hamstrings, quads, and Achilles. It guarantees astonishment, too. You live here for years and are still caught unawares by a body of water between buildings, stood on end like stage scenery, or by a tilted sidewalk that rises skyward until it becomes all the horizon there is. Steve McQueen went for a midnight motorcycle ride while in town to film Bullitt and next day told the director that when he crested hills his bike wheels left the ground. He could fly. So they discussed shooting a car chase.”

San Francisco, by W.S. Di Piero

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loving is as loving does

loving is as loving does


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so i have a big head!

wearing hats has always been a problem for me.

my head is so big

that they pop off!

no, really.

even beanies!

anyhoo, so this is what happens:

1) they fit snuggly on my head

2) a good 5 minutes or so later, the hat starts to ride up.

3) in the words of D, it looks like a condom.

4) hat pops off.

so,

i wear condom hats.

girl can’t catch a break.

at least my big head houses a big brain…

right? right?

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oh. my. god.

if this doesnt make you cry,

you have no heart.

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this is my grandpa. in cajamarca, peru. he is so handsome.

this is my grandpa.

in cajamarca, peru.

he is so handsome.

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I may or may not be watching Laguna Beach: Season 3

ok. Oh my goodness.

I can’t believeI haven’t blogged re: Eats.

Saddest thing ever.

Anyhoo, first:

Eats is the BEST breakfast place on Clement, no - in the inner richmond -

NO SCRATCH THAT!

IN SAN FRANCISCO!!!!

best breakfast place in San Francisco.

So we planned to go there on Sunday for my beloved pancakes and OJ.

So we get there,

and it’s CLOSED!

with a note that says something about remodeling and going to B Star for lunch.

FUUUUCK THAT!

sorry.

Anyways, so after some research on Yelp, apparently Burma Superstar bought it out?

AND EATS IS NO MORE!!!!

I DIE!

I will never taste those yummy ricotta pancakes again.

They will never melt in my mouth.

I will never be able to shovel them into my drooling mouth on a Sunday morning while trying to prevent Kaylen from stealing a piece.

Le sigh.

It’s a sad day for San Francisco.

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Dear Boyfriend:

why dont you write on my wall on facebook anymore?

maybe i gave up my relationship status too easily/quickly on facebook and now you don’t like doing it anymore.

uh-oh.

(im kidding)

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itsnotthatserious: the palace. note to self: go here this weekend.

itsnotthatserious:

the palace.

note to self: go here this weekend.

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Why is Slade Smiley such a tool?

wow.

wait, and what happened to his sons?!?!?!

remember?

Jo used to take care of ‘em.

EDIT:

so apparently he didn’t pay child support or something for his son who has BRAIN TUMORS.


WHAT?!!?!

shouldn’t he be like, worrying about his son?

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Love Unites this is true. (via)

Love Unites

this is true.

(via)

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